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Depression: Putting Yourself Last Causes Depression

Depression: Putting Yourself Last Causes Depression

By Angela Brooks

Most women are doing too much, expecting too much, influenced by crap and were never taught to take care of themselves. As a mom of two handsome young men, I am guilty for putting myself last in taking care of myself and making plans for my own personal growth.

Guilt sets in when plans are made without the boys or my husband involved, feeling as if I am selfishly taken time away from my family. When in fact – when I do invest in myself, I give them a happier, better mom and wife.

Over the years women have been taught and some expected to take care of the children, the household chores,, the meals, errands for the household, take children to their activities. Plus in today's average families, also work a full 40 hour a week job. No wonder so many women are worn out, out of shape and depressed.

Unresolved anger, and fear cause women to drop out of the game and let their own needs go without realizing how it is making them feel. After taking care of a full plate of everyone else's needs they give the excuse of being too tired or it is to late. It becomes a form of self abuse, almost as if they are the sacrifice for everyone else to succeed.

Putting Yourself Last Causes Depression

Expecting yourself to fill the shoes of wonder mom leaves you feeling empty and frustrated. Magazines and Television show moms with a baby on their hip, dressed for business, talking on the phone and smiling. The real truth in – one person cannot do it all without burn out.

Very few women are taught how to take care of themselves; most are influenced with so much crap the focus is taken away from their own health and needs. Leaving mom agitated and tired.

When I began my home business, I was working full time at night, multi-tasking on very little sleep. Attending the boys activities and not taken any time away from the rush of the daily events for me. I began falling apart at the seams and stayed frustrated. I pulled back and had to make a decision quick before mom popped like a balloon. Investing into my own personal growth, exercising – education for my business and branching out to a whole new outlook. I began to change how I was thinking.

After returning from a mastermind event with a group of talented women it shifted my thinking about me and my business – My husband gave me the best compliment I could ever have received. "You have a new business and I have a new wife." The smile had returned to my face. I felt happier than I have been in a long time.

Why? Because I took time for me and my dream.

Women need to step out of the dirty laundry room and re-discover who they are. Over the years, as I observe and listen to not only the patients at the hospital, but the nurses on the unit as well. Frustration is a common conversation around the water cooler. A lot of women feel that when they have children and get married all their dreams have to be placed on the back burner or forgotten. Within a few short years or working in robot mode – people begin to see a changed person.

Who Am I?

I always think about the older lady who came to the hospital, whom for 30 plus years had served her husband and her children. She ran the household like a business. When her husband came home from work one day and told her it was over. She was devastated. She had no idea who she was without the role she had lived for all of those years. She had lost herself taking care of her family. To her surprise she had a serious wakeup call on her life. Who am I?

Don't wait until you're so worn out, out of shape, depressed before you start living. When you live a full life those around you will benefit from your new joy. Stop worrying about not being enough, or what people will think, (I mean who really cares anyway), forget the rejection, no one will notice if your clothes are ironed or your hair is perfect. When you give others your control, you're allowing them to determine yourself worth. Start a journal today and you will amaze yourself what you will learn about YOU.

About the writer:

Angela Brooks is a leading distributor of Young Living Essential Oils. Dedicated to natural health solutions, Brooks provides people with healing alternatives without harsh side effects. Additionally, Brooks is a mental health nurse committed to bringing mental happiness to the nursing profession by motivating and supporting nurses around the country.

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2 Comments

  • Boswellia says:

    Depression is the problem which a human gets,when he/she have a lot of loneliness,not getting the enough time to sleep as well as the alcohol drinking too a part of it…

    • Threeicys says:

      Boswellia, It sounds like you are speaking from your own perspective. Which is all well and good. Depression happened to me at the age of 12. No drugs, alcohol or anything relating to an adult life applied to the cause of my depression.  After getting married and raising children – I was completely depleted of mental energy and fell into another deep depression. It was only at the age of 40 that I was finally diagnosed properly as having bi-polar disorder. My depression was caused by a brain disorder. I have never been a drinker or drug user (unless you count coffee). The human condition does not always cause depression. 

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