I was so happy to hear my friend announce at lunch that she had made the commitment to work on her marriage. Married for more then 20 years with 2 kids out of the house, she and her husband had some rough years recently. Financial stresses, alcohol, health and differences in lifestyles were pulling them apart.
One person was getting healthier and healthier and the other no so much. One person had energy and vitality and the other not so much. Do you ever feel like this, that your spouse isn’t at the same place as you are in life? That they aren’t interested in the same things you are? It becomes easier to pull apart and become more like roommates than a married couple.
The thing is marriage is a covenant. That means we made a solemn promise under God to be One, for better and worse, in sickness and in health, in richer and in poorer…
Ever wonder why those words are in most marriage vows? They are real. All marriages will deal with better times and worse times, sickness and health, richer and poorer. Now granted all of the choices we make definitely contribute to the state of our marriage. Making good choices by both parties is a key to having a marriage full of love. Make bad choices or become complacent in working on your marriage and you will have a marriage full of frustration, anger, and fighting.
I may have only 13 years of marriage under my belt but I understand the good and the bad of marriage. I have been in marriage coaching for 6 years and understand the consistent work it takes to have a good marriage. My husband and I don’t have an outstanding marriage yet but we have a good marriage. So I am going to share my tips on having a good marriage and avoiding divorce.
If you really want to work on your marriage it starts with working on you. We must be the best ME we can be to have the best marriage we want.
This includes taking care of your health. Recently both my husband and I had some blood tests done from www.zrtlabs.com. We found out that both of us are hormonally challenged right now. This helped us tweak our food, exercise, supplements and essential oils health program to support ourselves. Things like low libido, lack of energy and motivation may be a hidden hormonal challenge. So why not get things checked out.
HONOR YOUR SPOUSE
2. Learn your spouse’s love language
If you want to really love your spouse like they need to be loved, learn their love language and stop giving love only like how you like to receive it.
The 5 Love Languages book by Gary D Chapman
3. Learn about your spouse’s personality
SOOOOOOO VERY IMPORTANT… if you want to be together for 50 plus years you must learn to communicate and understand your spouse’s personality.
Make Having a Successful Marriage a Priority
4. Make your marriage a priority
Most marriages fall apart because we have made other things a priority over the marriage. If each of you makes God your number 1 priority followed by your marriage, you will have much less risk of divorce after the kids are out of the house.
People who make their children the highest priority and their marriage a least priority find they don’t even know each other once the kids are gone or worse end up divorced.
5. Date night
The best examples of happy marriages I have in my life all have this in common: DATE NIGHT. My grandparents and my aunt and uncle are 2 examples where they each forced themselves to go on a date once a week. Even with small little kids at home, exhausted from work, no desire to go out, no money, they still made it a rule to get out and once they did they had a blast.
My grandma told me they would sometimes have to find change in the couches to get enough money to go to the movies or have one cocktail out. My aunt and uncle had a life where he worked out of town for 3-4 days a week so their Thursday night dates were really important to reconnect and share. My grandparents have been married 60 years and my aunt and uncle 30 years. I don’t know but I think they are doing something right.
FORGIVENESS
6. Forgiveness
Forgiveness is an essential piece of a happy marriage. Learn how to forgive and do it regularly. For the little things that build up like forgetting to take out the trash to forgetting to get you a card for Mother’s Day to worse things. And yes worse things will happen. In those cases you will need to ask God to help you forgive, to heal your heart, and to heal your marriage.
Is having a good marriage easy? No, but is it worth it? YES!
So get out there, learn, and invest time and effort into your marriage.
YOU CAN DO THIS! I am praying for your marriage success!
Disclaimer: This information is not meant to diagnose, prescribe, treat or cure any illness or disease. It’s strictly for informational, educational, or entertainment purposes ONLY. The products I talk about are not meant to diagnose, prescribe, treat or cure any illness or disease. Any information I give you about them is for informational or entertainment purposes only. They have not been evaluated or approved by the FDA. Please seek the qualified health professional of your choice when making health decisions for yourself, your family and your pets.
