Losing Gabe and Matters of the Heart

I know many of you have been praying for my family and I since I put out the prayer request early last Wednesday morning on Facebook. We are grateful for your prayers. They gave us and continue to give us a huge peace through all this.

For those of you who haven’t heard, we lost our un-born baby Gabrielle Daniel Carter. After a routine ultrasound where we hoped to find out the baby’s sex we were informed that the baby was only 16 1/2 weeks in growth not 20 weeks. Later that day our midwife called to inform us the baby had no heartbeat. After another ultrasound and a consultation with an OB we were admitted to Sacred Heart Hospital on the Emerald Coast.

I was induced on Tuesday December 2nd at 7pm. I peacefully passed the baby a little after 3am by myself, then the doctor came and helped to deliver the placenta. The doctor and nurses were quite surprised that I delivered so quickly and without the use of additional doses of inducement drugs, pain killers, or an epidural. They don’t understand the power of prayers and God’s medicine – essential oils… we do and we used them.

We were able to hold our son. We named him Gabriel Daniel a name that God gave me with several signs in the last couple of weeks. Several weeks ago my mother called and told me she had a dream that her grandmother Mary, (my name sake who passed several weeks before I was born) was holding a baby boy. At the time we thought it was a sign she was holding him until he was born but now looking back we believe it was when he passed. By his size and measurements Gabe had passed several weeks ago. From his appearance Gabe was not developing normally and this was most likely determined at conception. We believe God took Gabe early to spare him and us further pain.

I got to anoint Gabe with Frankincense and speak “heaven talk” over him before we had to leave him. It was the most beautiful and special thing. We know without a doubt where our son is. We know without a doubt that your prayers have and continue to have a wall of protection over us.

They allowed us to leave the hospital Wednesday but I was on bed rest. We choose to stay on the Emerald Coast and got a beautiful room on the ocean. Although I couldn’t put my feet in the sand, it was still beautiful to look outside and see it.

We have lost 3 other babies back to Heaven before they were born. The process is difficult. With Gabe it has been most difficult in many ways. If you have had early miscarriages you know the first Trimester is full of worry. Once you make it past the first 12 weeks you feel lighter, happier, worry less and start making plans for your new loved one.

Each person’s process of loss is different. For me I feel numb for a while, then grief comes later. But I am blessed to have an awareness of why God took our baby. My faith does not waiver because Jesus is my Savior and some day I will be in heaven with all my babies.

A week after our loss, my heart and body started to grieve. And then my Immune System started to shut down. I came to a realization that I can not just go back to my regular life with just a little bit of rest everyday. I need time to heal. My husband is a strong man and grieves differently from me as well. Unfortunately he had been sick for almost 3 weeks with a cold that turned into pneumonia before we got our bad news. Afterwards his coughing caused his back to go out which left him in terrible physical pain too. I realized I needed to call in Reinforcements Spiritually and Physically. I am blessed to have a network of support around me who I can ask for help.

I ask for your continued support and prayers as our family heals. During the rest of the month of December and maybe into January we will be taking time off for healing physically, emotionally and spiritually.

Our assistant will be putting up some posts as me in groups and on my page. Please note she will read any message you send in chat, email or direct message, answer those she can and share with me what is necessary. Her direct email is lori@starrhealth.com if you have anything that needs attention.

 

Thank you again for your support, understanding and prayers,

Dr. Mary Starr Carter and Jay Carter